Some people hate networking. They are often the more reserved type of people. But I’m an extrovert type and I used to hate it too!
I am a happy and successful networker these days but I went through a phase of being pretty awkward at it. I’ve come to believe that the awkwardness came as a result of following the tips and instructions of “Successful Business Networking”.
Unhelpful tips
Some of the so-called “Better Networking” tips you see around are for entrepreneurs and those in Business Development, all looking for more work. They consist of instructions like these:
- Prepare a 30-second Elevator Pitch
- Include the problems your solve
- Include your USP
- Make it memorable
The trouble is that it means not only a lot of preparation but the result is something that often sounds glib, trite and false. Added to that, at some events you have to stand up and give your spiel one by one, so that nerves added to the mix can make it even more unlikely that you make a good impression.
Trying too hard to make useful contacts
Recently a colleague told me her aim at networking events was “to tell people what I do and see if they need it”. The result was she felt pushy (and probably was) and hated going to the events.
It’s so obvious to others when you are focused on catching a new client! The desperation makes you appear driven and you communicate it clearly to others, even while you think it’s just your own secret.
What works
What works for me is to forget business development. A focus on being helpful to others and enjoying myself is much more successful. So these are my first selection of tips:
1)
- Be yourself, as if at a non-work gathering
- Help others. Forget looking for potential clients
- Be sincere
2)
- Ask others who they are looking to connect with and think of who you know who fits their bill then connect the two afterwards by email
- Be brief when they ask what you do but give a couple of good examples including the result you produced
3)
- Fix a 1:1 meeting for another day with people who you “click” with, to find out more about each other
- Focus on just 1 or 2 follow-up meetings. Real relationships are what you want, not 100s of superficial ones.
It’s not rocket science. But it’s more natural social behaviour. So it’s much less stressful, more enjoyable and produces better relationships.
Next time
In my next post I’ll give you more ideas – things I’ve learnt the hard way.
Contact Alison Haill to discuss your communication challenges and aspirations. Alison has over 30 years’ experience in helping successful people have more impact when they present, influence others and lead within their organisations.
Oxford Professional Consulting is Oxford’s leadership communication consultancy, specialists in working with leaders, senior managers and professionals who work in the UK and globally.
Leave a Reply