Listening is always relevant. And it’s a natural human ability. We hear and listen before we learn to speak after all. But, as I heard someone say on the BBC, although listening is NATURAL for humans, it is not NORMAL.
7 reasons to listen better
Because people share more when they are listened to, so you learn more.
Because when you find out what frustrates and annoys people, you have a ready appetite for change.
According to Nancy Kline in “Time To Think”, people think more creatively when they are listened to attentively. (Think of meetings when no one is allowed to finish speaking – how good is the thinking…..)
Because you can empathise better after you listen.
Because you can select more relevant information and ideas when you know what the listener really cares about.
Because people who are not listened to get resentful. Even if they don’t say so.
You are best placed to convince others and make your point well when you have listened to their concerns.
We can learn to listen well
As an executive coach, I listen well. I’ve been trained to. That way I can add value, challenge constructively, make an apposite joke. So obvious, isn’t it?
And it makes such a difference to how much I hear and learn.
But in some contexts, say with friends, in a lively discussion, it’s “normal” for me – and some of them – to interrupt. When we’re all enthusiastic about the subject, not minding our manners too carefully and when no one seems to mind, the extroverts interrupt. The more reserved say less and maybe they zone in and out.
Are you an interrupter?
Or do you zone in and out as a listener?
My “Good Listener” Tips
- keep your mouth shut till the speaker closes theirs
- listen with the full 100% of your attention
- listen for what they don’t say as well as what they are saying.
This should ensure that you have no possibility to indulge these Bad Listener habits.
“Bad Listener” habits
- formulating your own response while they talk
- holding your own excellent “next point” in mind all the time while listening
- watching for the earliest moment to jump in with your view
- judging what they are saying while they are speaking
- zoning in and out while pretending to listen.
Read here for more:
Please feel free to let me know your comments below and answer any of the following…
- Are you a Bad Listener? What’s your worst and most regular Bad Listener habit?
- How many of us zone in and out? Do you?
- Do comment with your experience and tips.
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